[ in a women’s clothing store, trying to find a specific shirt ]
J: Excuse me, do you know when the next shipment of this shirt will be in, and if it’ll will be in a salmon color?
Cashier: Salmon? Why do you want it in salmon?
J: Oh, because I want to walk around wearing shirts in a color that reminds me of female genitalia.
Cashier: [re-assesses his life, realizes retail probably isn’t for him, and runs into the back room in tears]
Posted in J
NTal: You get to see the new tatoo, it looks really good.
K: Well, I’d be worried if it didn’t turn out well.
NTal: The girl wanted to punch me, I was so picky about it.
K: Seriously?
Ntal: Yeah, I didn’t want any of the scripts in the book, and I didn’t like the ones she had printed out for me either, so I wanted them to draw it.
K: Snap.
NTal: It hurt so bad, though. Oh my god.
K: You’re a baby!
NTal: Oh hell no, this was bad. Even you would be squirming!
K: Me? Come on. I’ve got the ‘betes.
NTal: Ha. I know, but even you would have thought this hurt.
K: So what did you get tatooed, your labia?
NTal: No, my inner right ankle.
K: Oh. Probably less painful than your cootch, but still sensitive.
NTal: Yes. But I didn’t realize this.
K: So what did you get, my name?
NTal: Yeah, I got “K” tatooed on my ankle.
K: That’s HOT.
NTal: I know. I knew you’d like it. I wanted it to be a suprise.
K: Yeah, yeah.
NTal: No, actually… I got the word “Hope”, I thought it was fitting.
K: AND IT’S MY MIDDLE NAME! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. You’re so in love with me.
NTal: Oh, God.
K: I’m just going to reitterate: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
NTal: This is rediculous.
K: Yes. Yes you are.
Posted in K
Colloquial 